


Unfamiliar Territory

by idolatres



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Asexual Character, Other, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 11:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idolatres/pseuds/idolatres
Summary: Humans are confusing, and what's more confusing, is Piccolo meeting a human he actually likes.A commissioned fic for a dear friend! Piccolo/Reader slowburn. Asexual Piccolo, reader also doesn't really care for sex.





	1. Chapter 1

    Most humans were taken back by his appearance. Towering over everyone at his massive height, and his natural physic that screams power. Of course, him being a green alien on a planet full of humans didn't help him at blending in with the inhabitants, either. Not that he ever truly tried, to be honest. He enjoyed solitude. Being among nature, watching the world go by in peace, away from people.  
  
  
    He used to hate humans, thinking they were idiotic, useless creatures who sapped everything good from their planet. He /used/ to hate them. Learning from the Z-fighters, joining them in their cause, and seeing their determination and hope, changed him. Not at first, but the time he spent with Gohan, raising him to be a warrior. It awakened something in him he didn't think he could ever understand. Compassion for earthlings, the ability to care for another being. Pride, joy, and love, he felt like he was Gohan's father.  
  
  
    While he struggled getting along with normal humans, warriors who fought with him, he learned to respect. Gohan helped him learn more about humans, how emotional they could get. Spending so much time around them, he found his own emotions slipping out of his control sometime. A side effect, he thought. When Gohan started showing interest in women, he learned how humans court. Which is still something to this day that baffles him.  
  
  
    He thought humans only did it to prolong their species, having children and such. After Gohan got over the intial freak out and being so embarrassed he could barely speak from Piccolo's straight forward questions, he explained that humans date, and sometimes marry each other for love. Wanting to always be together, and prove their love through various "Romantic" acts. It all went over his head, sort of. He grasped the basics though.  
  
  
    So when a human first approached him, he was shocked. They were intrigued by him, and eager to learn more. He tried to humor them, but it didn't work out. His appearance, usually scaring most, seemed to be a 'turn on' for them. They wanted to have sex with him. After a very awkward, and exhausting conversation with them, explaining that he's incapable of that, and honestly: not interested, they quickly lost all interest in him. Figures as much, he didn't expect much from earthlings.  
  
  
    The only being he trusted enough to talk about this with was Gohan, and when Gohan heard about this, he was very sympathetic. Trying to reassure him that not all humans are like that, and maybe one day he'll meet a human who likes him for /him/. Piccolo doubted this, but appreciated his sentiments. He tried explaining he was fine by himself, and preferred it that way, but Gohan said: "Even you need someone to be there for you." He did have people there for him, his friends. He was happy that way.  
  
  
    Unfortunately, more humans approached him, and there would always be some sort of misunderstanding. He started thinking about just completely isolating himself again. It was becoming troublesome, anytime he would try to go out in public, either to visit Goku, or Gohan, humans would gawk, treat him like some freak show, a specimen in a museum. So he started isolating again, spending most his time in the wastelands, enjoying the peace and quiet.  
  
  
    One day, while he was meditating, something threw his concentration out of balance. It was very, very loud yelling, and it echoed throughout the land. Whoever it was sounded pissed off. He surveyed the area, and found the source. It was a human, and he wondered how the hell they ended up here. He was going to ignore them, find somewhere else to go, but they spotted him, and they waved him down, frantically. He really didn't want to associate with them, but he knew leaving a human here would be bad. They could get themselves killed. He flew over to them, he couldn't tell if they were shocked by this or not, they were more focused on whatever was bugging them.  
  
  
    They have a heavy backpack over their shoulders, holding a map. Their hair frizzy from the heat, but they're still..attractive, by human standards. "Hey, dude! Can you help me out? I'm looking for Satan city." They look at the map, flipping it around a couple of times, before crumpling it up and shoving it into their pocket. "My friend wanted to hitch-hike some but I lost them, I have no fucking clue where I'm at right now."  
  
      
    Were...were they for real? Satan city was islands, miles away. How the hell did they end up here. "You realize you're not even on the same island, right?" Their jaw drops, and their hand went up to their forehead, rubbing circular patterns at their temples.  
  
  
    "Yeah, yeah, I know." They cross their arms, and take in the scenery around them. "We're all supposed to meet up there though, but I have no clue where it's at."  
  
  
    Humans really were stupid sometimes. Willingly traveling through the wastelands and islands, knowing the danger, all for some thrill. Then to top it off, they can get lost, with no way of leaving. Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to just leave and forget about them, something told him he shouldn't. He didn't want a random humans blood on his hands. He's grown too much for that. "I can show you where it's at, but after that, you have to promise you'll stay in the city with your friends, where it's **safe**."  
  
  
    Their face lit up, and they smiled at him. "Really?" All irritation in their tone gone, they sounded relieved. He still kept a neutral expression though. "Wow, thanks so much! I don't have that much cash on me, but i'll pay you." They start digging through their pockets, trying to find their wallet, but he stops them, grabbing their arm.  
  
  
    "That's not necessary. I have no use for money." Their body tenses, and he can feel how uncomfortable they are. "Uh," oh god, they're probably thinking he's gonna attack them. He retracts his arm, feeling way more awkward than he already did. "It's fine."  
  
  
    They laugh at him, and he assumes they're making fun of him. Before he can go on the defensive though, they speak. "Okay! That's cool with me. I'll just have to pay you back some other way." He wants to insist that's not necessary, but not wanting to offend them, he holds his tongue. "So uh, how are we getting there?" They look around, no site of any transportation. Just lakes, trees, and small cliffs.  
  
  
    He wants to scoff at them, they actually think there'd be some way to get off this island that's not /flying/. Humans can't fly, as much as he grudges the idea, he's going to have to hold them. He doesn't want them to freak out, or think he's going to drop them, which means he can't just hoist them over his shoulder, he's going to have to make sure they feel _safe_.  
  
  
    He feels his cheeks heat up, he wants to run away so bad, doesn't want to let them see his moment of weakness. He wonders why being embarrassed is the absolute _worst_ emotion to feel. They're staring at him, tilting their head to the side in confusion. Oh, he forget to say anything. He clears his throat. "We're going to fly there."  
  
  
    They let out a harsh bark of laughter. "Fly? Dude, I can't fly. I mean I know you can," They gesture to the mountain top he was sitting on before he approached them, "but I'm human."  
  
  
    "I know." His voice shows his building irritation. "I'm going to carry you."  
  
  
    They freeze up when they hear that, their body going completely stiff. Here it comes, they're going to flip out and run away.  
  
  
    "Uh, I appreciate it, I do, but, I'm terrified of heights." They aren't making an attempt to run, so he applauds them on that. They're trying not to stutter as they continue speaking, "And, I, I'm not exactly a light weight dude. I don't think you can carry me."  
  
  
    They don't know him, so of course they arent' familiar with his strength. He resists the urge to tell them not to doubt him, and instead, starts walking towards them. They're still frozen in place. He kneels as his arm wraps around their back, and hooks the other one beneath their legs. He hoists them up no problem, heavy backpack and all. They let out a string of curses beneath their breath, and wrap their arms around his neck.  
  
  
    "Haha, holy shit, you're really strong." They sputter, voice shaky. He rolls his eyes at how eloquent they are with their words. They look up at him, their faces way too close for his liking. He tries to avert his gaze, and fights back the increasing heat flooding his face. "Okay, so, you can carry me, I'm not doubting you, now." They're shaking, hands squeezing the back of his neck, like they're holding on for dear life. They take a few deep breaths, trying to calm themselves.  
  
  
    "You'll be fine." He says, "I'm not going to drop you. Relax." He tries to sound reassuring, but it's hard for him. They listen though, and continuing their breathing exercises. "It won't be that long, and you can just close your eyes when we're in the air."  
  
  
    "Right, right." They swallow, but the tension leaves their body, going lax, well, as lax as it's willing to go in this situation. "Alright, go ahead. Let's do this."  
  
  
    Piccolo nods, instead of hurrying up, getting this over with as fast as possible, he slowly raises off the ground, watching their face the entire time, making sure they don't start panicking. Despite their mind screaming don't look down, they peer down, and watch as the ground gets further away. They feel their heart race quicken at the sight, and quickly look away, burying their head into his shoulder, wrapping what they can of his cape around their face. He can't help but roll his eyes, they should be okay like this, he doesn't plan on doing any wild aerial maneuvers. Although the idea of them losing their mind over what he can do would give him some satisfaction. A little pay back for making him go through this ridiculous  ordeal. He decides it's not that great of an idea though, better safe than have a human try to get him arrested. (As if they could do that, but Gohan found out, he'd never hear the end of it)  
  
  
    Piccolo's way off the ground now, the human still hiding their sight of vision with his cape. "I'm going to start flying now, don't panic." He states, waiting for a reply. They nod their head, a little too eager for his liking, their nerves must be really bad. "I'll take it slow, but if you want to get there at a decent time, I /am/ going to have to speed up."  
  
  
    "F-,Fu-, yeah yeah! Let's just do this." He can tell they're trying to play it cool, but the way they're shaking in his arms, cues him off to their fear. There's no point in waiting for them to feel ready, as far as he knows, that could take hours, he starts flying, slow at first. The cool breeze greeting him and his companion. They seize up in his arms, burying their face deeper into his cape.  
  
  
    "You're fine. I'm not going to drop you." He repeats himself, his impatience getting the better of him as he picks up speed.  
  
  
    "Okay, okay. You know what?" They start, still refusing to move their line of sight from his cape, "Just, go buddy. Let's get this over with. The longer I'm like this, the more sick I'm gonna feel. I don't wanna blow chunks on you." He grimaces, again, they have such a way with words.  
  
  
    "Fine." Is all the warning they get before he takes off, and they practically jump in his arms. The pressure of the wind pushing against them, their stomach feeling like its literally flipping and turning with the movement. Another string of curses leave their mouth, though its muffled. They feel like they're going to have a heart attack.  
  
  
    "It'll take about 10 more minutes." He says, not sure how to comfort them. The only thing he can think of is to apply more pressure in his grip. It's light, but enough to remind them that he's here, he's not going to let them go. They mutter out a weak, 'I'm fine', but he doubts that.  
  
  
    It's silent for a few moments, they've been focusing on calming down. They're starting to get used to the feeling of not having their feet on the ground, their nausea decreasing, but the fear is still ever present. They keep their face covered in his cape, but move it up a bit so their mouth is uncovered.  
  
  
    "So.. do you normally hang around alone on islands?" They ask, trying to make small talk. He hates small talk. There's no point to it.  
  
  
    "Do you?"  
  
  
    They snort. "No, my first time. I don't like going out much to be honest. This experience isn't helping the case either." Talking is actually helping with their anxiety, despite his obvious lack of conversation skills.  
  
  
    Their first time, and they get stranded, Piccolo wonders what type of friends they have. They'd probably be better off without them. "Hmm."  
  
  
    They nudge his chest with their elbow, "Come on man! I answered, it's common courtesy to give me an answer too."  He makes note that they are acting more like themself, so if it'll make the trip any easier on himself, he'll humor them.  
  
  
  
    "Yes." He thinks that's a good enough answer, but they keep nudging him still. He looks down at them momentarily, and wants to laugh at how silly they look with his cape over their eyes. "I don't like humans-, people. I keep to myself."  
  
  
  
    They nod, "Yeah same here, people tire me out." They shift a little, their backpack digging into their back, trying to get comfortable. "But uh, I guess I don't have a good reason for being like that, I mean, I'm not an...alien?" They're not sure what to call this man. They don't want to make him uncomfortable though by pointing out how _different_ he is from humans though. "I'm just antisocial."  
  
  
  
    Piccolo is familiar with the term antisocial. Goku's called him that before, and others. He's not phased by them calling him an alien, that _is_ what he is, after all. No need to talk more on it, but his mind is struggling to find topics to talk about.  
  
  
  
    Luckily, they take the reigns again. "We have a lot in common, huh?" They ask, their tone a little sarcastic. "Two hermits, hanging out, can't hold a conversation worth a shit. We make a good pair." He thinks he senses amusement in their voice.  
  
  
  
    He smirks, he's starting to enjoy their attitude. It's not overbearing or annoying, it's straight to the point, blunt, like his own. Time seems to escape them both, and he can already see Satan City's outline. "We're here." He states, moving in closer. They /finally/ peer up from the cape, and make sure they don't look down, instead admiring the view of the city from so far away. Their heart feels like its lurching in their chest though, as it's very obvious they're in the air. They cling tighter to him, as he descends to the ground.  
  
  
      
    He drops down near the forest line by Gohan's house, not wanting to go into the city itself. He's not in the mood for stares and people chattering about him. When his feet connect to the ground, they immediately try to weasle their way out of his grip, eager to make contact with the earth. He helps them down, and as soon as their feet touch the ground, they let out a huge sigh of relief, and laugh. "Oh man, I never thought I'd be so happy just to feel some dirt beneath my feet."  
  
  
      
    They're all smiles again, staring up at him, and he feels a part of him actually want to smile back, but refuses. "If you head east from here, you'll reach the city. It's not that far of a walk."  
  
  
    They nod, readjusting their backpack on their shoulders. "Thanks again!" They pause, not sure how to approach the situation. "I guess you don't have a phone do you?"  
  
  
  
    What? A phone? He doesn't have a need for that. "No, why?"  
  
  
  
    "I uh, I wanted to exchange numbers, you know, in case I get lost again and need a ride."  
  
  
    "Please don't purposely get lost." He mutters, and they laugh.  
  
  
    "I'm just kidding, still would be nice to talk to you again sometime. I had fun." They're genuine, he can tell. He's not the best with picking up how humans feel, but with them, this is easy. They've been open and honest with him this entire time.  
  
  
  
    "Who knows." Is all he says, afraid to make a promise, a commitment. They don't seem put off by his avoidant reply, they reach into their backpack, and it's a map of Satan City. At least they're prepared... Wait how many maps did they bring?  
  
  
  
    Before he can ask, he hears a /very/ familiar voice. He jolts, not expecting Gohan to actually be home. "Hey! Piccolo! I thought I sensed you out here!" His friend runs over, not noticing his companion at first. When he does see them, he slows his pace down, but waves at the two of them. Piccolo feels _so_ embarrassed, he's not even sure why. His new 'friend', seems right at home though, and waves back.  
  
  
    "I didn't realize you had someone with you." Gohan looks at Piccolo, a little confused but none the less happy to see him with someone new. He holds his hand out to them, and they accept it, shaking hands. "Nice to meet you, I'm Gohan! It's always nice to see Piccolo with a friend." He says in a chipper voice.  
  
  
    "Nice to meet you too!" They say, then tell him their name. Piccolo just realized he never actually asked for their name, or told them his. Their name is nice, easy to remember to.  
  
  
  
    Gohan turns back to Piccolo, and rubs the back of his head. "I was going to see if you wanted to come inside, and play with Pan for a bit." He starts, looking back at the massive house, "You're more than welcome to join as well!" He says, looking at Piccolo's "friend". Piccolo feels his heart lurch, oh god, he wasn't expecting this. He really hopes they don't agree to this.  
  
  
  
    "I would love to, but I have somewhere to be." They grin at Piccolo, and he thinks they can read minds for a second. He want's to thank them, but doesn't want to cue Gohan on how awkward this is. "I gotta go find my pal, take in the sights!"  
  
  
  
    Gohan seems a little sad, wanting to get to know them, but an idea strikes him. His fist slaps down on his open palm, and he seems very excited. "Oh! I know, what's your number? I'll call you next time, and see if you're free."  
  
  
  
    Of course. Of course Gohan would want to have a direct contact line with them, he thinks this could be Piccolo's new date friend. Oh Kami, Piccolo doesn't even want to say anything to this, he doesn't know _what_ to say about this.  
  
  
  
    "Sure!" Is all they say, before reaching into their bag, (How much stuff is in there?), pulling out a small notebook, with a pen in the binding, they write down their number, and rip the sheet of paper out, handing it to Gohan before shoving the book back into their bag of wonders.  
  
  
  
    "Thank you! I hope we all get to hang out soon." Gohan gives a thumbs up at them, and winks at Piccolo. He doesn't think he's ever been more embarrassed in his entire life.  
  
  
  
    They wave at them both, "Alright! See ya soon, hopefully." They turn their attention back to their map, and begin their travel into the city. It's silent between Gohan and Piccolo, both waiting for the new friend to be out of ear shot. Once they are, Gohan turns to Piccolo, eyes wide, a little too eager about this.  
  
  
  
    "Piccolo! I didn't know you had a new friend! They're cute too." He laughs, playfully pushing against Piccolo's shoulder. "Nice taste, man. I hope things work out for you two!"  
  
  
  
    Piccolo finally gathers himself, since they left, he's no longer as nervous. "It's not like that!" He exclaims, rubbing his forehead, obviously agitated by how things played out. Gohan's demeanor is immediately replaced with concern.  
  
  
  
    "Oh? Oh man, I'm so sorry, I guess I overreacted with them..." He looks down at the piece of paper they gave him, and wonders if he should throw it away. "Why don't we go inside, and we can discuss what happened there?" He suggests, and Piccolo nods.  
  
  
  
    "That would be best, also I want to see how my Pan is doing." Gohan can't help but beam at Piccolo, appreciating the fact that the man who practically raised him, is playing such an active and positive role in his daughters life as well. They both smile to each other, and make their way inside.


	2. Preperations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piccolo discusses things with his family, and ends up making a surprising decision.

When they walk inside, Videl is there, preparing tea while she watches Pan play with toys by the kitchen table. A warm blanket spread onto the tiling, with several toys and stuffed animals spread around on it. She turns towards the two and waves. "Nice to see you, Piccolo." Piccolo nods in acknowledgement towards her, and makes his way to Pan. Gohan goes over to his wife, and kisses her on the cheek, causing her to let out a quiet chuckle, and give him a quick peck back.  
  


 

As soon as Pan sees Piccolo she starts talking. Making high pitched squeaks and noises, he thinks he hears "Pi-chan," come from her, but that could just be his imagination. Either way, he's ecstatic to see her. He sits down on the floor, and she crawls her way to him, and he sweeps her off the ground, holding her in the air while she laughs.

 

 

Gohan and Videl know Piccolo adores Pan, and have reassured him several times that while they're together inside, he doesn't have to keep up his tough warrior facade.  At first, Piccolo was wary of this, but being around the child, she unravels his years of stoicism and brings out his soft, fatherly instincts.

 

 

"Pan-pan, you're looking good today." Piccolo says to her, and she gurgles happily. He places her back down, and she crawls into his lap, flopping around, too excited to know what she even wants to do. Gohan finally joins them, handing Pan one of her toys, so she has something to play with while she soaks up the attention. It's a stuffed animal with a rattle inside, and crinkly ears that provide endless fun for a child. He sits at the table and wastes no time in interrogating his friend about the mystery friend. Too nosy for his own good.  


 

"So, what's going on with you and your new.....acquaintance?"  He's not sure what to call them in relation to Piccolo. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he notices Piccolo goes a little tense.

  


"Right, straight to the point." He grunts, the stuffed animal in hand, as he rattles in front of Pan, and she squeals while trying to snatch it from him. He keeps teasing her with it while he tries to think how to explain what happened. "They were in the wastelands. They were lost. I helped them out. That's that."

  


Gohan laughs, "That's it?" Piccolo cuts a glare at him, and Gohan waves his hands, trying to dismiss the idea that he would be making fun of him. "Sorry! It's just... you two looked very comfortable with each other. I thought there was more going on."

  
  


Did he actually look comfortable around them? When he first approached them he was _very_ unsettled over having to be so close to a stranger. As they talked more though, he did feel a natural ease wash over him. Before he has anymore time to mull over this, Videl enters the room, places the teapot in the center of the table, and she sets the cups in front of Gohan, and herself. She leaves an extra cup on the table, in case Piccolo decides to have some. She's learned that he isn't always in the mood to partake in human drinks and food, (as he doesn't technically need it), but still sometimes, he does like to indulge himself. She seats herself besides Gohan, and Gohan is already pouring her some tea, and then himself.

  
  


"It's green tea, if you'd like some, Piccolo." She says, blowing on her cup to cool it down. Piccolo says thank you, but doesn't get up from his spot. Still playing with Pan. "Gohan probably jumped to conclusions because he was so happy to see you with someone." She states, amusement in her voice. Gohan looks embarrassed, and she laughs when she notices this.

  
  


"Videl... I just want to make sure Piccolo isn't lonely, you know. We all have someone, I just want Piccolo to have _someone_ too." Piccolo wants to interject, tell Gohan to stop poking his nose into his personal affairs, but Videl is the first to speak.

  
  


"You have to understand, Piccolo isn't lonely." She says, looking towards him, a warm smile on her face when she sees how happy Pan is with the attention she's receiving from her green uncle. "He has us, and Pan, and the other Z warriors. He's doing well as is." Piccolo smiles at her, and nods, agreeing with her. When he first met Videl, he judged her harshly, but she's since grown on him, seeking his approval when she wanted to be official with Gohan. Piccolo learned that she's surprisingly mature, and smart when it comes to combat and personal affairs. An admirable woman.

  
  


Pan blows raspberries when she hears her name, and Piccolo rubs the top of her head, causing her devolve into a giggling fit. Gohan adjusts his glasses, looking a little sour from being teamed up against like this. "I know! I know! Still, it wouldn't hurt for Piccolo to try and make new friends!"

  
  


"I'm fine, Gohan." Is all Piccolo says. The other two take sips from their tea, and the aroma is pleasant.

  
  


"Still.. Did you mind them? Were they nice to talk to?" Gohan asks. Still trying to push the subject.

  
  


Videl pipes up, "Would you mind telling me about them? I didn't get to meet them, after all."

  
  


Piccolo is quiet, trying to figure out how to explain his feelings about them. Pan's getting restless over the prolonged silence, fussing while crinkling her stuffed animals ears. Piccolo turns his attention to her, and coos to her, grabbing her tiny hand in his, waving it around to calm her. She giggles, and continues to play with his calloused hand, which seems giant compared to hers, stuffie still held in her other hand.

  
  


"They're...interesting." Gohan and Videl look expectantly at him, wanting him to continue. "They never treated me like I was...different from them. They were nice. Appearance wise they're short," He pauses "Short compared to me, anyway." Gohan and Videl chuckle at this. "I guess, attractive by human standards. Uh.." He feels his cheeks warm up, and he sincerely hopes it's not showing. He looks down at Pan, who looks like she's starting to doze off now, letting out a huge yawn while adjusting her stuffed animal so shes laying on it, she's still holding his hand though. Despite the trepidation he feels over possibly being interested in a new human, he still has his family here, and they'll always be there to support him.

  
  


"They sound like a very nice person." Videl says, taking a sip of her tea. "Maybe if you ever feel up to it, you should let us know so we can message them and arrange a meeting." She offers, making sure not to pressure him into it, leaving the decision entirely up to him. Gohan on the other hand, is all for this idea, with enough enthusiasm for all of them combined.

  
  


"Yeah! I already sent them a message saying I hope we all get to hang out soon." Piccolo grimaces, and Videl sighs, before offering an apologetic smile.

  


"Gohan.." Piccolo grumbles, and Gohan reflexively puts his hands up, nervous laughter escaping him.

  
  


"S-Sorry! I won't message them anymore! I promise!"

  


Videl starts chastising her husband, and Piccolo glances down at Pan, not feeling any movement from her except her steady breathing. She's asleep now, probably bored with the grown up talk. He wraps his arm around her, holding her, making sure to take it slow and easy as to not wake her. She shifts a little, mumbling in a sleepy voice, but remains asleep. He stands up and looks at the two, and they're both calmer, giving him friendly smiles.

  


"I'll go put her down for her nap, and then I'll go." He states, not waiting for a reply as he makes his way to her nursery room. Gohan follows behind him, a couple of Pan's stuffed animals in hand. When they reach her room, he places her carefully into the bassinet, and Gohan lays her stuffies next to her. She instinctively curls up around them, snuggling up to them, she's so precious, Piccolo can't help but feel protective and proud of her.

  


Gohan makes sure his voice is quiet, as not to disturb his little bundle of sunshine. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Piccolo." Piccolo shakes his head, dismissing the apology.

  


"It's fine."

  


"Is it though? I kinda got ahead of myself.. I'm just excited you met someone who treats you pretty well, er for first meeting them anyway." He looks up at Piccolo, and extends his hand to his shoulder, patting him. "I'd really like it if you'd at least think about seeing them again, okay?"

  


He nods, if it's the only way he'll get Gohan off his back, he'll consider it. It wasn't like he hated the idea of spending more time with them, he's just...nervous. He's not even sure /why/ he's so shaken up by the idea.  


 

He says farewell to the two, and promises to visit again later. He needs time alone, time to think to himself and sort out his feelings.

 

* * *

  


He's meditating in the wasteland, legs crossed, eyes shut. Zoning out the sounds of the creatures roaming, the rivers water flowing, the wind against his face. It's quiet, an overbearing silence that would bother others, but to him, it was everything he needed. Time alone to recuperate, and gather himself and his thoughts. No one around to interrupt him, no one to disturb him during his alone time.

  


Piccolo grimaces, his concentration thrown out of balance. Thinking of no one to interrupt him, reminded him of his encounter with the human. Now his thoughts were scattered, like dust on the wind. His mind can't stop thinking about them. Their smile, the way their eyes weren't full of judgement when they looked at him, their at ease and natural relaxation around him. He wonders where they are right now, if they heeded his advice of staying within the city. Are they doing alright? For some reason, when he thinks of them being lost somewhere dangerous again, a pit drops in his stomach. Is he genuinely worried about them?

  


It's only been two days since their first encounter. Piccolo has visited Gohan daily, making sure to spend time with Pan. Gohan hasn't brought up anything about them, heeding his request to just leave things alone. Of course now that he's had time to alone, he can't help but wonder if they're okay. It's not like they needed supervision, they were an adult. He just couldn't shake this feeling that they were probably more on the irresponsible side. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, a part of him wanted to see them again. He didn't know why, he wasn't sure he wanted to know why either, afraid and embarrassed of what his true feelings could be. He's positive he doesn't hold "romantic" feelings for him, more like a natural connection, a strong friendship that's only begun.

  


He remembers how they said they were only staying for a short amount of time, on some sort of a vacation. He wants to see them, if only for a little bit. Just to check in on them and make sure they aren't in trouble again. At least that's what he tells himself, a weak excuse, but he won't admit to anything else. He hoists himself up, and begins to make his way towards Gohan's place. His expression reads annoyance, but it's not at anything but himself. He's uncomfortable with how much he's looking forward to another chance to see them. It's.....the absolute worst.

  


He doesn't know why he's so frazzled at the idea of being interested in a human again. With all his past experiences with them, he guesses it's some sort of natural defense mechanism he's built. To protect himself from getting too involved with someone who won't treat him properly.

  


After a few minutes of mentally arguing with himself, he already sees Satan city coming into view. Flying alone without having to worry about someone freaking out is /much/ easier, able to breeze by miles with ease. He slows down as he descends, landing in front of the main door to their house. He never bothers with knocking or ringing the doorbell, he just lets himself in and makes his way to the living room, where he usually can find Gohan and Videl. He’s there, as usual, pouring over some papers, while his free hands holds a rattle, shaking it in front of Pan as she tries to snatch it from him.

 

Gohan immediately perks up at the sight of his dear friend, surprised to see him. “Oh! Piccolo, I didn’t even sense you.” A laugh escapes him, and he sets down the papers, Pan now making lots of gurgling noises and squeaking happily at her Papa and Piccolo. Gohan snatches her up, and walks over to Piccolo, both of them grinning at him. “I get so absorbed in my work sometimes, it’s rough.” Pan reaches out to Piccolo, her tiny hands grasping at air, trying to reach him.. Piccolo reaches his hand out to her, and pats her head, which she absolutely loves. “So, what can I do for you?” Gohan asks while lightly bouncing Pan in his arms, trying to soothe her and get her to calm down. “You here to spend some time with us?”

  


Piccolo feels like he just swallowed a frog, his throat constricting with nerves and uneasiness. “No, not today.” He’s trying to keep his cool, to seem as casual as possible about this, not wanting Gohan to make a huge deal of it like before. “I was wondering if you could message my...friend, and see if they’d like to meet up.”

  


Gohan’s eyes light up like fireworks, and he looks absolutely /delighted/ by this turn of events. “O-Of course!” He’s stammering, excitement filling his lungs, like he’d just received an amazing gift. He hands Pan to Piccolo, and immediately goes to pull his phone out of his pocket. Piccolo smiles at Pan, and bumps his forehead against hers, and she squeals, hands patting his face, not knowing what to do with herself. “Do you have a preference of where you’d like to hang out with them?” Gohan asks, fingers already tapping away at his phone’s screen.

  


“Hmm.” Piccolo has no clue where he’d even enjoy going with a human. He’s not one for excursions that serve no purpose. “Not really.”

  


Gohan finishes writing whatever he decided was okay to send, and turns his attention back towards Piccolo. “Okay! Let’s hope they reply soon.” He motions for PIccolo to follow him, taking his seat back on the couch, and Piccolo follows suit, settling down next to him. Pan becoming restless, wrestling her way out of Piccolo’s grasp, moving in between the two, sitting up. Pretending she’s an adult, flailing happily. Gohan chuckles at his daughters cute antics, but turns his attention towards Piccolo, picking up on how nervous he is.

  


“Hey, it’s gonna be okay!” He places a hand on PIccolo’s shoulder, trying to figure out how to comfort his dear friend. “Just be yourself, that worked last time right? They seem to really like you.”  Piccolo doesn’t say anything, not sure what there even is to say about this. So Gohan keeps pushing forward, “Besides if things don’t go well you can always come back here. You can hang out with me and Pan until Videl gets home.” Gohan pats his shoulder with a little more gusto, “I bet if we ask nicely she’ll even make us some food! Sound good?”

 

As much as Piccolo’s mind is working against him at the moment, he can’t help but listen to Gohan, appreciating the support. He nods, thankful for the wonderful hospitality he always receives. “Maybe she could make us Dangojiru.” He muses out loud, on purpose of course so Gohan will pick up on want he wants. Like clockwork Gohan grins and agrees, saying that’s a great idea.

  


Before they can talk anymore, Gohan’s phone goes off, the ringtone tacky, something a teen would have set as. He practically jumps out of his skin, fumbling to grab his phone again and look at the notification. He lets out a surprised noise, smacking Piccolo’s shoulder, causing the taller man to jolt. Pan sitting between the two, looking back and forth at them like it’s some kind of game, and begins to lightly smack Piccolo’s legs.

  


“It’s them! They replied!” He exclaims, quickly handing the phone to Piccolo, turning his attention to Pan, trying to settle her down again.

  


He squints at the screen, reading it at a snail’s pace.

  


“ _Thanks for the heads up! I was beginning to think he wouldn’t wanna see me again lol._

 

_ I’m in town rn, not doin much. I’m by the mall. I’ll head over to the entrance of it, tell him to come meet me!!! I dunno anything else to do in this city and ive never been to the mall yet so he gets the honor of escorting me! ＼(￣▽￣)/"  
_

__  
  


“The mall?” This is ludicrous, what the hell could he even do at the mall. He’s going to stick out like a black sheep. His looks, his clothes, why would they want to meet there. He remembers them saying they disliked people as well, so why go to a place that will be teeming with humans.

__  
  


Gohan laughs, nervous about Piccolo suddenly changing his mind and not going. “It’ll be fine! Just focus on them. Ignore everyone else.” He suggests, but Piccolo can’t imagine ignoring hundreds of humans staring at him like a circus animal.

__  
  


“I don’t have proper attire for this. I should cancel.” The weakest excuse in the book, and Gohan isn’t having that.

__  
  


“You can borrow some of mine. Watch Pan for me real quick.” Gohan is quick to leave the room, heading to his bedroom, his step peppy, like he’s getting enjoyment from this. Piccolo looks down at Pan, and her eyes and smile show her innocence, she has no clue what’s happening. He forces himself to smile back at her, not wanting her to think his negative mood was because of something she did. She giggles, and crawls onto his lap, he focuses his attention on her, trying to resist the urge to bolt.

__  
  
  


A few moments later and Gohan is back, clothes in hand. “A lot of my clothes are for work, but I think I picked out something that could double for a casual date.”

__  
  


“It’s not a date.” Piccolo practically hisses, eying the garments, eyes weary at what he’s seeing. 

__  
  


Khaki pants, a navy blue jacket of some sort, a light blue long sleeved button up shirt, and a black tie. A tie. Casual? He knows he’s not an expert on this sort of thing, but a tie screams stuffy. He glares at Gohan, who’s just grinning in return. “If you can’t get the cardigan to button up, just leave it unbuttoned. I know you’re a little bigger than me, but this should fit.”

__  
  


“Gohan, I’m not wearing this. This looks awful.”

__  
  


“You don’t know it looks awful, you haven’t even tried it on.”

__  
  


Piccolo looks down at Pan, who’s staring at the clothes as well. She’s probably agreeing with him in her mind, that /that/ looks absolutely horrid.

__  
  


“Please, Piccolo? For me? Just try it on. If you’re wearing human clothes you won’t stand out as much, people won’t stare at you. I know it bothers you, and I want you to have a good time.”  His tone is genuine, showing how much he’s worried about this, it almost looks like he’s trying to give Gohan puppy dog eyes. He’s way too old for that. But, it still works. Piccolo loves him like his own son.

__  
  


After some heavy silence, Piccolo gives in. Standing up, handing Pan to Gohan, in exchange for the clothes. “Fine.” Is all he says, before stomping off into the bathroom, brooding the whole way.

__  
  


He’s throwing his gear onto the floor, a little too aggressively, he feels confused, and vulnerable. He hates feeling like that. He shrugs on the shirt, fumbling with the buttons, not used to this sort of thing. It’s a tight fit, but he manages. He’s looking at himself in the mirror, human clothes look foreign on him, strange, unpleasant. In his opinion he looks ridiculous, but he keeps going, grabbing the pants and shucking them on. They’re short on him, his ankles showing. He cringes, putting on the ‘cardigan’, not even bothering to button it up. He leaves the tie in the bathroom, and goes back to the living room.

__  
  


When Gohan sees him he grins, cheeky like, seeming to approve. “Looking good! I have some boots you can wear so the pants being short on you won’t be too noticeable.” His smile falters for a second, “Wait, where’s the tie?” his voice hinting that he’s _slightly_ offended. 

“I’m not wearing the tie.” Is all Piccolo says, making his way to the exit of the house, several pairs of shoes lined up neatly at the entrance. Gohan follows like an excited puppy, Pan gurgling in his arms, starting to get upset because she finally realizes Piccolo is about to leave.

__  
  


His eyes scan the shoes laid out, some flats and heels that belong to Videl, sneakers and dress shoes that belong to Gohan, and boots, brown and black. Piccolo decides the black boots look nicer, and he puts them on, his feet struggling to fit in them, toes having to curl a little bit. It’s uncomfortable as hell, but he’s been through worse. 

__  
  


He turns back to look at Gohan, and is at a loss of words. Still not really wanting to go outside like this, not wanting to go to such a public place, dressed like _this_.  Gohan gives a sympathetic smile, gently hushing Pan as she gets more and more restless.

__  
  


Piccolo looks at Pan, “Pan, it’s okay,” he coos affectionately, “I’ll be back soon. Then we can play all you want.”  She huffs and whines, but seems to understand, relaxing against her father. 

__  
  


Gohan waves, and with his other hand makes Pan’s hand wave too. “Good luck out there!” He cheers, and Piccolo very reluctantly, makes his way outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be longer than 3 chapters actually, I'm having fun writing this. This chapter might be boring though oh well.  
> This is a commissioned work for a friend, as a reminder. So most of the things I add to this I discuss with them first. 
> 
> also dead ass i just googled horrible nerdy white boy outfits for gohans clothes. I LOVE YOU GOHAN BUT YOU A NERD
> 
> https://idolatres.tumblr.com/


	3. Quite the pair!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piccolo has no idea what to expect from this date, he's not even sure it is a date. He really hopes this isn't some big set up to embarrass him.

Piccolo feels like he’s about to vomit any second, his nerves going absolutely haywire as he tries to ‘casually’ walk on the sidewalk with humans passing him, eyes bugging and mouths dropping almost comically as they see him. Normally he’d just be annoyed, fly off in a hurry, but he can’t do that now, as much as he wants to. He’s almost at the entrance to Satan Mall when he sees them.

  
  


They’re wearing layers of black and grey, covering their entire body, a scarf wrapped around their neck, concealing the bottom half of their face. They don’t have their giant backpack with them, and their attention is focused on their phone, fingers lazily gliding over it. Piccolo’s embarrassment is rising to the point where he feels like his body is boiling, and he has to resist the urge to just take off, feeling absolutely foolish dressed like this. Before he has the chance to think out an escape route, they glance up from their phone, and look straight at him.

  
  


He’s expecting them to laugh, to do something incredulous, but they just walk over to him, standing in front of him. “Dude, who picked out your clothes?”

  
  


“My s-, Gohan. Gohan did.” 

  
  


They wrinkle their nose. “Yeah figured, boy dresses like some prep student. You didn’t have to dress up for this.” They gesture to their own outfit. “This is what I wear everyday at home.” Piccolo figures he must look super uncomfortable, as they pull their scarf down a little and smile at him. “His clothes do look better on you though.”

  
  


Piccolo is stiff as a board, not sure how to reply to that at all, not even sure it was a genuine compliment. “Right.” God, he’s not even sure what to talk about right now.

  
  


They give a crooked grin, seeming to enjoy how awkward he is right now. “Don’t sweat it, it’s not gonna be that bad, I promise.”  They slip their phone into their pocket, and look around, expression blank, unreadable. “You wanna grab something to eat before we window shop? Or afterwards?” 

  
  


“Ah, I don’t really eat.” He should’ve had Gohan mention this to them, he’s not even sure he’s in the mood to eat today, specially with the way his nerves have upset him so much.

  
  


“Oh shit, really? I figured with how big you are you’d be a big eater.” They pause, realizing what they said. “I mean, you’re pretty ripped, uh, protein and stuff.” Piccolo arches his brow. “Sorry, forget I said that, let’s just go in.” 

  
  


Piccolo walks with them side by side, a comfortable distance between them as they make their way inside. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

He’s immediately greeted with a bright, almost blindingly tacky decorated shopping center. Their companion taken aback from the sudden intrusive fluorescent lighting as well, grimacing as their eyes squint, adjusting the lighting. Satan Mall is as you’d picture it, over the top, gaudy, with a Mr. Satan statue to greet the patrons in the center. There’s different types of shops littering the walls, and to their right is a food court, with different cuisines and specialties. They seem overwhelmed by all the bustle, standing dumbfounded as they look around. Piccolo clears his throat, and it snaps them out of it.

  
  


They slide a little closer to him, leaning up to maintain eye contact with him, as people pass by in crowds, a lot of them staring at Piccolo, which causes him to wear a disgruntled resting bitch face. “This place is waaaay too packed, it’s nothing like the malls back home.” They mutter, mostly to themselves, but still trying to keep a conversation going. “Let’s get into one of these stores where it’s less crowded, okay?” 

  
  


He nods, agreeing with the plan. Their hands sneaking to his arm, wrapping around it as they pull him along. They couldn’t actually move him if they tried, but he’s so eager to get somewhere more private, he willingly goes along. Their eyes are darting from store to store, dragging him behind, and they let out a huff, finally selecting a store to go in, Piccolo looks up at the sign, not familiar with the store at all, it appears to be some kind of clothing store.

  
  


There’s nowhere as near much traffic inside this store compared to the halls. Only about a group of 15 people, each spread out looking at the wares. Both of them immediately relax, posture not as tense, they disconnect themselves from Piccolo’s arm and look around at the clothes. It’s all varied, not a distinct style. The store has men's and women's clothing. “Hey maybe we can find you something less stuffy in here.” They muse, walking to the men's area, going through racks of shirts. Piccolo follows, double looking everything they look at. “Kinda small…” They whisper to themself, going further and further down the rack, away from the small sizes. Towards the end they reach the large section, and they click their tongue, pulling out a long sleeved black shirt. It’s plain, but looks comfortable. They hold it up against him, stretching it out against his torso. “Hey this would fit!” Before he can express his own thoughts, the shirt is thrown into his arms, and they’re back to scanning the racks. “We need something comfy to move in, and nothing nerdy like Gohan would wear.” Piccolo holds back a snark laugh, appreciating he’s not the only one who finds his son’s tastes questionable. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it works for him because he looks like a textbook teacher who does everything by the rules…” 

  
  


They keep rambling, it’s hard to follow along when they keep flinging different styles of shirts into his arms. Finally they stop long enough to look at him and let out a bark of laughter. He’s holding a large pile of shirts, and it’s almost up to his neck. “I’m sorry, i’m going wild here, why didn’t you say something sooner?”

  
  


He just grunts, and his level of unpleasantness bleeds through that simple gesture. They laugh again, “Sorry! Let me help you sort through these.” 

  
  


One by one they both examine the articles of clothing they picked out for him, this time they make sure to ask his opinion on which ones he likes too. Out of 15 shirts only 3 make it to the final vote. The plain black one they had chosen first, a yellow short sleeved shirt that looks vaguely familiar to Piccolo, and a black tank top. 

  
  


“Now what?” He asks, still holding onto the shirts they’ve agreed on. When he looks at their face he’s taken aback, they’re practically grinning, face spread out in a mischievous smile.

  
  


“Now my dearest friend,” Their voice is high pitched and sing song, he can hear the laughter they’re trying to hold back, “Now we play dress up!”

  
  


“Dress up.” He takes a moment. “Dress up, as in you want me to go try these on?” 

  
  


“Exactly! You gotta make sure to show me too though, I'll tell you if it’s good or not.” 

  
  


This is a stupid idea, it’s idiocracy at it’s finest, yet Piccolo can’t find it in himself to disagree with this plan. Maybe it’s because he really does look foolish in his current get up, maybe it’s because he has had an interest in human clothes before. Unfortunately for him, he knows the real reason why he’s going along with this, so they have fun. Who knows, maybe it’ll be fun for him too.

 

 

* * *

  
  


They get the attention of a clerk and ask for a fitting room, the clerk practically jumping out of his skin when he sees Piccolo, but leads them to the back of the store, hands unsteady as he unlocks the first dressing room. “When you’re finished please c-come back up front.” 

  
  


They let out an obnoxious laugh, and quickly move ahead of Piccolo to peer into the tiny changing room. “That guy looked like he pissed himself, I bet he did.” Another unsavory bit of laughter that almost sounds like they’re wheezing. “Okay! Get in there big guy, try on the shirts and make sure to show me” They say as they make themselves cozy on a chair at the edge of the dressing room, surrounded by full length body mirrors.

  
  


           Piccolo squeezes into the closet like changing room, much too tall and broad to move around easily.  He wants to complain so bad, say this is bullshit, but more than anything he’s so relieved to be getting out of Gohan's clothing. He yanks the cardigan off of him and hastily unbuttons the stuffy shirt, tossing them to the floor. He grabs the first shirt he sees, the black tank-top, and throws it over his head. He hears the fabric ripping to accommodate his stature, but there’s no noticeable damage. Actually wearing a top that doesn’t cut off the circulation to his arms is freeing, it makes him feel pumped up, like he could get into a fight with anyone right now, and easily come out on top. The only thing still restricting his movements now is those god awful pants. So he shucks them off too, ripping the belt off around his waist.  He glances in the mirror in the changing room, and there he is, standing in a thin top and his boxers. He’s never been one for vanity, but he can’t deny he looks good right now.

  
  


“Did you die in there? It’s been five minutes. Where's my show man, do you need h—“

  
  


They’re interrupted when he swings open the changing room door and walks out, his face is neutral but they can tell he feels a lot better out of those clothes. “You. Uh” They’re stuttering, embarrassed at how forward he is and how he isn’t ashamed at himself for almost being nude. Oh god is their face warming up? They better not start blushing. “You look amazing! But, but pants man, you need pants. You can’t go walking around here in just your underwear, you’ll get in serious trouble.” They clamor to their feet, and desperately try not to gawk at his form now that it isn't covered up by layers. “S-Stay here, I’ll find something that matches!” 

  
  


Once he made sure he was alone, he allowed himself to snicker at their obvious embarrassment, smirk placating his features. He hadn’t expected them to react in such a manner, seeing how calm and relaxed they usually were. At least he doesn’t feel at a disadvantage now when it comes to their...relationship. He knows they have a weakness as well.

 

They’re back sooner than he expected, but their eyes are scrunched shut, a pair of black jogger pants in hand. “Take ‘em and go,” They’re talking fast, probably their nerves. “And DON’T come out until you’re completely dressed!” He rolls his eyes, but takes the pants from them and goes back inside the changing room. When they hear the door click close, he hears them let out a sigh of relief, and he has to stop himself from poking fun at them.

  
  


The pants are very stretchy, and accented with a white stripe down either side. He has no problem slipping into them, and they don’t cling to his body uncomfortably. He’s a little surprised they fit so nicely. He slips back on his shoes, and carries Gohan’s clothes underneath his arms, as he makes his way out of the changing room.

  
  


Their eyes are open again, and this time when they see him they’re much calmer. “Better!” They exclaim, walking to him, making him spin in a circle so they can view him from every angle. “The shoes don’t match, but at least you look comfortable.” They smile at him. “And more handsome.” 

  
  


He’s taken aback by that, but manages to stay stoic in expression. “Thanks.” It’s a curt reply, not sure how to respond to a genuine compliment about his appearance.

  
  


“Okay so I’ll buy these for you, as payment for helping me the other day.” They start pulling their wallet out of their pocket, but Piccolo grabs their arm, stopping them.

  
  


“I told you, you don’t have to pay me back.”  He repeats, eyes serious. They just smile.

  
  


“Then consider it a gift signifying our friendship, and a memory of our first date.”

  
  


Heat rushes to Piccolo’s head. That completely caught him off guard. He doesn’t even know how to reply, not even sure what to think. He feels confused, but he can’t deny he’s happy they said that. He clears his throat, trying to collect himself.

 

“Fine,” His voice is quiet and unsteady, and he hates that it sounds like that, “Fine.” He says again, this time more confident and sure of himself. He meets their gaze, and they’re just grinning at him.

 

“Good! I was worried for a second I was gonna have to pull an arm and leg to convince you..”  A nervous laugh escapes them, “Let’s go pay for this shit.” They wrap their arm around his, and drag him back out front of the store. When they reach the register, they handle the transaction, saying he’ll wear it out, but they still need a bag to put his old clothes in. The cashier obliges them, and he stuffs Gohan’s clothes, now a wrinkly mess, in the bag. The two start making their way back into the halls of the mall, and Piccolo doesn’t disconnect his arm from theirs. Starting to enjoy the contact with them.

  
  


* * *

 

People are still staring, but Piccolo feels /so/ much more comfortable now that he’s out of those stuffy garments. He’s walking beside his date now, instead of being dragged behind them like a rag doll. Their arms still interlinked, as they keep a comfortable pace walking through the throngs of people.

  
  


“So what type of stuff are you even into?” They ask, eyes scanning each store they pass by. “You don’t seem like a videogame person, or even a TV person, definitely an outdoorsy type.” They glance at him, a sly smile. “Specially considering you don’t even use money.”

  
  


He purses his lips, grumbling under his breath. “I don’t have a need for it.” His brows furrowed together, as he actually has to think about ‘normal’ human activities he enjoys. It’s almost embarrassing how hard he’s trying to come up with things. They laugh, and nudge his side with their elbow.

  
  


“You like meditation right?” They try to help, and he nods in agreement.

  
  


“Yes, I prefer being alone. It gives me time to mentally and physically train myself.”

  
  


“I figured you’d be into exercising with how big you are.” They let out a hum of amusement. “So can you kick some serious ass? How good are you?” They’re not even paying attention to the stores now, their eyes on him, eagerly awaiting a reply.

  
  


He doesn’t want to brag, but he is very capable of defending himself and others. He tries to tell himself he’s _not_ trying to impress them, but at this point he’s not even sure why a part of him wants to. “I’m considered one of the strongest warriors on this planet, yes.”

  
  


They’re silent, eyes big as they stare up at him. He feels nervous, maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Did he scare them?

  
  


Before he can mentally freak himself out anymore, they break out into nervous laughter. “Seriously? That’s pretty cool.” They don’t seem scared, which is different from how humans usually react. They notice the way he’s eyeing them, and they squint. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

  
  


“Uh, no. It’s just.” He thinks carefully how to word this without coming off as rude. “Humans usually get scared.” 

  
  


They shrug. “It’s not like you’re gonna try and kill everyone right?” He freezes up, and has to stop himself from choking as he remembers his past self. He feels _so_ embarrassed just thinking about how he acted before. “Dude you okay?” They ask, arm tightening its grip around his, and he clears his throat, trying to recollect himself.

  
  


“Yes, I’m alright.” The idea of trying to explain his past…’mistakes’ is too much for him, like he’ll get a migraine at any second, so he pushes on ahead, hoping they’ll drop it. “I’ve sworn to protect this planet, so don’t worry about that.” 

  
  


“Damn, you’re a really motivated guy, I wish I had your kind of dedication.” They huff a bit dramatically, and wave their free hand around, like they’re dismissing their own laziness. “I barely have enough motivation to go to work some days, and you’re out here beating baddies.” As they’re walking, they lean a little more into him, and he remains still, not sure how to react to the closeness. “Sounds really cool though, I’d love to see you train someday.”

  
  


He wants to warn them that training can be dangerous, but doesn’t feel like going into the droll details. A simple maybe will suffice, so there’s no permanent obligations. “Maybe one day.” 

  
  


“Nice! I promise I’ll be quiet.” They say, trying their best to convince him to change that maybe into a yes. “You won’t even know I’m there.” Piccolo doesn’t reply, so they quickly move onto another topic, not wanting to make things unpleasant. “Besides that, what else do you enjoy?”

  
  


There’s not much else he enjoys, besides spending time with his family. He clears his throat, and finally looks back at them, trying his best not to avoid eye contact. “You’ve met Gohan,” he starts, and they nod, waiting for him to continue, “He’s like my son. I usually spend time with him and his wife, but I think my favorite part of visiting them is getting to see Pan.”

  
  


“Pan? Is that his kid?” They ask.

  
  


“Yes, I love her.” He smiles, and they can’t help but smile with him. It’s the first time they’ve seen him with such a genuine expression of happiness, they want to say he has a nice smile, that he’s cute, but they know if they say that he’ll probably /never/ talk like this again. “I always babysit her when they’re busy, and sometimes I go over just to see her.”

  
  


“She sounds adorable!” Piccolo immediately replies, very proudly, ‘yes, she’s the cutest around.’ It causes them to laugh. They never expected him to be a secret sap.  And then, like a light bulb flickering on brightly, they get struck with a _wonderful_ idea. They start dragging him off to the side of the hall, out of the way of walking shoppers, and turn towards him, finally detaching their arm from his, only to place both of their hands on top of his shoulders. Piccolo just stares, a little startled by the sudden shift. “We should go to a store with toys. Let’s get Pan something!”

  
  


“Toys…” He mutters, not familiar with a lot of ‘age appropriate’ toys, as anytime he tried to help Videl pick out some, he’s firmly told it’s not safe for her.

  
  


“Yeah! I’ll help you pick out something nice for her, don’t sweat it dude.” Piccolo hesitates, but nods in agreement. 

  
  


“Usually I bring her things from the wastelands, but I have gone toy shopping before, with Videl.”

  
  


“Videl is Gohan’s wife, yeah?”  He grunts an affirmation. “Nice, this’ll be a breeze then. Let’s get her something cool.” They remove their hands from him, their fingers drumming against their cheek as they brainstorm gift ideas. “She’s tiny right? From the pics Gohan sent she looks like a toddler..”

  
  


“Gohan’s sent you pictures?”

  
  


They snort, and try their best to stop themselves from laughing. “Yeah! I think the day after I met him he started sending me pictures of her.” They pat their pants pocket, where their phone is at. “Her eating, her napping on a pile of blankets. Some cute shit, to be honest.” They straighten out their back, and stretch, arms going up and slowly descending in a circular motion, trying their best to act casual as their one hand reaches out for Piccolo’s own. “We can get her something soft and simple, nothing super tiny.” When their hand finally makes contact with Piccolo’s larger hand, he doesn’t pull away, just arches a brow at them, to which they grin sheepishly in return. “Sorry, not cool?”

  
  


He grumbles under his breath, not sure why they enjoy holding onto him so much. It doesn’t bother him though, when he thinks about it seriously, it doesn’t bother him _at all_. It’s just new, not used to anyone being so affectionate with him without them trying to get something in return. He hopes they’re not expecting anything in return at least. He’s glowering at his own thoughts, and he realizes he hasn’t said anything, and their face is getting more and more uneasy with each second that passes.

  
  


“It’s. It’s fine.” They immediately let out a loud sigh of relief. 

  
  


“Oh thank god, I thought I messed up.” He can feel their hand relax around his, a gentle grip, they’re very warm, it’s a pleasant sensation. “Let’s get moving, I wanna get Pan the best present ever, you’ll get sooo many cookie points with the fam.”  They smile, and tug his hand a bit to motion for him to walk, and he does. They make their way back into the center of the aisle, and maintain a slow pace. People are still staring, but he notices it’s not at him. It’s at the /both/ of them, their eyes all darting to their hands that are intertwined. They don’t seem bothered by this at all, it’s...nice. They’re not embarrassed to be seen with him in the least bit.

  
  


They’re both looking at the shops they pass, looking for anything that remotely resembles a toy store. “Uh, what are cookie points?” He bends down as he asks, so he doesn’t have to be loud.

  
  


“Umm,” as they walk they stand on their tip toes, whispering back, “it’s just a way of saying you’ll be seen highly in their eyes.” They relax again, continuing to walk normally. “Well I’m sure they already think you’re the best, but with this they’re gonna be like,” They use their free hand to hold it to their cheek, and they put on an exaggerated pleased expression, “Oh Piccolo!,” Their voice is high pitched, mocking an infatuated teenager, “You’re so wonderful, Piccolo! I can’t believe how thoughtful you are!” 

  
  


He snickers at their antics, and they look satisfied with themselves for managing to get a positive reaction out of him.

  
  


They continue their search in comfortable silence. People are /still/ staring, and they’re still not even phased by it. Piccolo notices of course, but doesn’t bother getting worked up over it. His eyes have finally adjusted to the glaring fluorescent lights, but he still can’t get over how unbearably tacky everything is as it glitters with golden flecks.  He turns his focus back on the store signs on his side, and he sees one coming up in their path that looks child-like. It stands out against the rest of the signs, which are overly fancy. He taps their hand with his fingers, and they look at him. He uses his free hand to point at the sign. “Moonmoo valley?” He reads the sign out loud. It’s a bright pink sign, with blue bubble font, there’s a fat cow mascot on the sign, that’s smiling peacefully while resting against the letters.

  
  


“Ohh, good eyes! That looks perfect.”  Their grip gets tighter on his hand, and they start pulling him along again, pushing past people like they don’t even exist. It makes him want to smile, enjoying how they don’t even pay attention to other people, wishing he could be a bit like them. They reach the entrance in no time, and they walk in side by side.

  
  


* * *

 

The store is littered with various cute mascots, even a giant statue of the fat cow. There’s clothes, dolls, and other toys. Not a lot of people are in this store, besides the two of them there’s only about five people. The inside is shaped like the inside of a shabby chic wood cottage, brightly colored arches accentuating each section of the store, with flowers and art of the mascots decorating them.  He feels nervous being in a store like this without having Videl and Pan with him. While his date doesn’t seem bothered at all, quite the opposite. “This is great!” They exclaim, immediately dragging him over to some shelves on the wall. It has some hair accessories. Flowers, clip on bangs, headbands with animal ears attached to it that matches the mascots. They reach for the headbands, and grab two of them. Without any shame what so over, they slap on a headband on top of their head, and look at Piccolo while their fingers fidget with the other headband.

  
  


“No.” Piccolo immediately responds, already knowing what they’re planning.

  
  


“Aw come on man! Just for like 15 seconds, pleaaase.” 

  
  


“Absolutely not.”

  
  


“I have to make sure they look good on other people too! How else will I know if this is a suitable gift for Pan-pan?” 

  
  


“No.”

  
  


They scowl, and start leaning up, as tall as they can make themselves, while trying to slip the headband onto his head, but he’s so tall they can’t even reach. “Please, please please,” They whine, “I want a picture of us, I wont show anyone I promise, nobody else is gonna see.” 

  
  


“Alright, enough.” He barks, and they jump in surprise, but they’re all smiles again. “Quickly though, and you better not show a single person.”

  
  


He’s frowning so deeply as he leans down, letting them slip the headband on past his antenna and ears. He quickly hunches over, trying to make sure no one else around can see. They pull their phone out of their pocket, and turn the camera on, moving closer to him as they grin. “Smile!” They exclaim, but he refuses. His cheeks gaining a purple hue as they snap the photo, and they immediately snatch the headband off his head for him, glancing around the store to make sure no one else saw.

  
  


Luckily for him, everyone else was too busy looking at the other merchandise to pay attention, and he relaxes again. But he’s /so/ embarrassed, it’s ridiculous. They’re looking at the photo they took now, and they show it to him. They’re wearing a goofy grin in the picture, while he looks like he’d rather be /anywhere else/ in the entire world. “We look good together.” They state, so matter of fact about it, it causes heat to flood to his cheeks even worse than before. They put their phone away, and begin taking off the headband on their head, while fixing their hair. “Don’t worry, like I promised, no one else is gonna see! Thanks so much!”

  
  


He grumbles, shying away from looking at them. “Unfortunately, I don’t think these little animal ears would be a very exciting toy for Pan..” They whisper as quiet as possible, so Piccolo can’t quite catch on that it was all a ruse just to get a cute picture with him. “Let’s look at the other stuff, okay?”

  
  


They start moving, from shelf to shelf, grabbing each toy and clothing article to feel it out. He follows behind him, and offers input on what he likes and dislikes. A lot of the toys are small, miniature houses and figures, they explain that these are choking hazards, and they both agree it’s not suitable for Pan. The clothes are all a little too big, and in Piccolo’s words: ‘Unbecoming of a future warrior.’ Which causes them to side-eye him, but they put back all of the cutesy dresses to please him.

  
  


They eventually find themselves in the corner of the store that’s dedicated to different sized plush animals of the various mascots. There’s the white cow, a kangaroo looking creature, and other weird animals Piccolo’s pretty sure aren’t real. He instinctively goes to grab the smaller version of the cow, but his hand is stopped by their hand, holding it in place. “Uh-uh, if we’re getting her this cow it’s gotta be big enough for her to laze around on.” They glance at him and smile, “Unless you wanna get me the small one, I wouldn’t mind that.”

  
  


“I don’t have money.” He states again, and they roll their eyes.

 

“I know, it was a joke.”

 

“Oh.” They chuckle, and shrug, treating it like it’s not a big deal.

  
  


They’re checking the price tags on the larger versions of the cow-mascot, eyes narrowing a bit when they read the price of the largest plush. They mumble a “fuck that” under their breath, and Piccolo catches it and has to stop himself from smirking. So they go to the next biggest option, and they start chewing on their lip, like they’re in deep concentration. “This is why people shoplift.” They say, their annoyance showing through their tone. This continues on for a good 10 seconds, before they settle on a medium sized plush. When they see the price tag they look much more pleasant than before. “Okay, this will work.” They state, holding it in front of Piccolo. “Thoughts?”

  
  


It’s a little bigger than Pan, and the large stitched on eyes are very cute. He reaches out to grab it, fingers twitching against the fabric. He’s surprised, it’s very soft. Way softer than any of the other plush animals Pan owns. He nods in approval. “Nice.”

  
  


They look so smug, obviously pleased with themselves for their choice. “Cool, let’s buy this and get out of here.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


After they finish the transaction they shove the stuffed animal into the bag with Gohan’s clothes. When they leave the store together, they aren’t holding hands anymore or anything of the like. His date’s attention turned to their phone. Lips pouting as they groan.

  
  


“I need to get something to eat and head back to the hotel.” They explain, before he has time to question why they look upset. “Since you don’t eat I don’t wanna just sit there with you while I stuff my face. Kind of rude.”

  
  


“It wouldn’t bother me.” 

 

“It would bother me though.” He rolls his eyes, but they continue on anyway. “I’ll walk you back outside, and then you’re free to go, no longer held prisoner by my cruel whims.” The theatrics they display during the last portion of their sentence makes him chuckle. “Let’s get  a move on.” They huff, sliding their phone back into their pocket, arm snaking around his again. He nods, and they start making their way back towards the entrance of the mall.

  
  


\---

  
  


They’re outside, and before Piccolo has time to move away, their hands go to the bag he’s been holding, double checking that everything is still in there.

 

“Okay, everything’s safe!” They pull away from him finally, and start shifting their weight back and forth as they lean from side to side. “So.” They’re not sure how to say what they’re thinking, how to word it properly without making him uncomfortable.

  
  


“So.” He repeats, staring down at them. He’s calm and collected, despite the amount of people wandering around them. They’ve helped him so much today with learning how to ignore strangers gazes. Their nonchalant attitude about other people is infectious.

  
  


“Thanks for humoring me and hanging out for a bit. I appreciate it.” They’re looking down at the ground, like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I, uh,” They stammer, but Piccolo doesn’t interrupt, waiting as they gather their thoughts, “Am I gonna see you again? Before I leave, that is. Uh, it’s okay if not.” They’re so demure and antsy, a complete opposite of their normal attitude.

  
  


“When do you leave?”

  
  


“Next week. Not a lot of time left.” They’re still not looking up at him, afraid of the answer they’re going to receive.

  
  


He crosses his arms, bag crinkling as it’s squished against his body. He can’t deny that he wants to see them again, even though they didn’t do anything particularly exciting, it was relaxing. “On one condition.” He starts, voice firm. Their eyes dart up finally, looking at his face. “I get to choose the location.”

  
  


Their mouth drops open for a split second, and they let out a nervous laughter, all smiles and excitement. “I’m cool with that! I don’t think I wanna go anywhere near a mall for a long time.”

 

“Then it’s settled.” He has to stop himself from smiling at how relieved they look. 

  
  


They’re still grinning like a dummy, and they motion for him to lean down. He obliges, bending down while waiting for them to whisper something. But the whisper never comes, instead he’s greeted with a pair of lips, pressed against his cheek. It’s so sudden, he quickly jolts back up, eyes wide, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. They devolve into a fit of giggles. “Oh my god dude! Your face!” They gasp between laughs.

  
  


“You-” He stutters, his brain feels like it’s short circuiting, his body feeling unbearably warm and shaky. “I-”. He covers his face with his hands, he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know what to say. His flight or fight instincts kicking in, he peers down at them between his fingers, and they’re just grinning at him. “T-Thanks for the gifts, Bye.” He says, words rushed and erratic. 

  
  


They nod, still beaming at him, absolutely /loving/ how embarrassed he is. “See you soon!” 

 

Before he can freak out anymore, he storms off, quickly taking to the air, flying off back towards Gohan’s house. His body feeling like it’s gonna melt any second. He tightens his grip around the bag full of goodies, making sure nothing falls out.

  
  


And left behind, they’re standing there, phone out of their pocket, completely oblivious to the horde of people freaking out about someone flying off, fingers moving with accuracy and speed as they text Gohan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM STILL WRITING THIS I PROMISE!!!!!!!!! AAAUhhh
> 
> a commissioned fic 4 a dear friend who wants mundane fluff w/ piccolo and bitch do i ever deliver.
> 
>  
> 
> http://idolatres.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter: 1/3  
> I work full time, so it may be a couple of weeks until it's finished entirely. Please be patient with me!
> 
> https://idolatres.tumblr.com/  
> 


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